This Phase Where I Am Now

Not every phase we enter in life is good.

There are certainly those stages that we would want to escape as much as possible. Perhaps it’s like a difficult maze that we can’t solve. Or like a deep raging river that we can’t swim by.

Right now, I am swimming in that deep raging river. Others may call it motherhood.

I’ve always dreamed of becoming a housewife. And now, I’m living that dream.

I am blessed. Truly. But that doesn’t mean I live in rainbows and clouds.

In fact, I am drowning right now. Everyday, I swim across an ocean of dirty dishes, laundry, toys, recipes, dust, and cereal crumbs. I dive and hold my breath, day in and day out. But I don’t know how much longer I can hold my breath.

Sometimes I wish the ocean would just take me away, in a far isolated island where I have no meals to cook, dirty dishes to scrub, or laundry to fold.

While being a housewife is all I ever ask for, I get tired and exhausted, too.

And right now, I need a break. A looooong, uninterrupted break.

I don’t know if it’s just the hormones from my monthly period. But whatever this could be, I know I am tired. Period.

And while I know this is just a phase, I still hope it won’t last that long. For I need to badly catch my breath again.

The Kid in Me

I’m not really into gadgets but there’s something about MacBook Air that makes me want to have one. It could just be a psychological desire or whatever you may call it, but I have always wanted to buy one but the price tag kept me from doing so, specially with my husband being so strict when it comes to spending. As you may know, Apple products are pricey – one MacBook Air already costs AED 3,600 here in UAE which is way too much for a laptop (for half of that price you can already buy a decent one for brands like Asus, Lenovo or even Toshiba). 

But I don’t actually mind the price – I want it, period. But the catch is, I couldn’t afford it yet (unless I swipe my card and pay for it in installment). Again, my husband wouldn’t allow me.

Not until yesterday! 🙂 I finally managed to get my commission from work (which I’m so thankful for), and from there I was finally able to buy a MacBook Air!! God is really good. I never really expected that I’d be able to buy one until we get the chance to migrate to Canada (where they say Apple products are more affordable). But well, I can’t believe I finally own one!!  Sigh.. It’s just so overwhelming 🙂  

We’re All Lovable

Sometimes, we tend to focus on people who disapproves our characters, asking “why” and trying to become what they think is ‘lovable’. But we never give due credit to those who loves us, from our best to our worst. These are the people who deserves our attention and energy, for happiness comes from within ourselves – that by choosing to focus on those who genuinely loves us, we make ourselves happy, making them happy, too. We are all lovable in our own little ways 🙂 



Our Self-Adjusting Lifestyle

We all have this so-called ‘self-adjusting lifestyle’ which by nature adjusts itself accordingly based on our financial status. We start buying more expensive stuff, dining in more expensive restaurants, and so on. The more we have to spend, the higher we spend. Well, kind of difficult but it just takes self-awareness and self-discipline 🙂